Another year has come and gone, and around this time I’m always in a reflective mood. I like to re-evaluate my life, direction, and basically everything about myself during this time. If 2013 was the storm, 2014 would be the morning after, still dazed at the events of the night before. In a way, 2014 was me waking up, examining the damages, and working my way out of them. This year was a lot calmer, less ups and downs. My life returned to normal. It returned to reality. I was no longer spending thirty to forty hours on the poker table every weekend. I was no longer winning or losing thousands of dollars a day. I was no longer dropping $500 chips on the roulette tables when I was getting bored. No more free trips/rooms to Vegas or Atlantic City. No more VIP treatment. No more feeling like I was living a double life — developer by day, poker player by night. No more waking up to $500 tabs. Life was no longer a whirlwind of being in a dream or nightmare state. However, I have learned so much that I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I returned to a regular nine-to-five job, Automated Software QA Developer. Sexy, huh? Life, in a word, has returned to normalcy.
And honestly, I’m not sure if I like it. Maybe I’m a little weird. Hell, who am I kidding? I am weird. I hate the idea of being normal. I hate the idea of being stable. I hate the idea of seeing my life mapped out in a stable manner. I hate the idea of going to school, getting a job, finding a wife, settling down, and living out the rest of your life. I want more out of life. I want more meaning and serendipity. I want to be in a situation where I don’t know where life is going to take me in the next ten years. I want to be that guy in Peru somewhere launching a multi-million dollar business, or that homeless guy backing through India searching for his guru, or most of all, A GOD-DAMN RAPPER! Lol The point is, I want my life to be an awesome adventure. One of my co-workers likes to jokingly call me crazy, but I prefer the word eccentric.
Creatively, though, 2014 has been my best year. I have grown in leaps and bounds in terms of writing, photography, and in just the way I look at life. I did and created things that were above and beyond what I thought I was capable of doing. Not to say they were great work or anything. The bar was just set very low. It’s a good feeling to surprise yourself. Here’s to looking forward to 2015 and everything it has to offer.